Click, Click, Click....Then Wait!

 

I never knew it would be like this!



I was musing the other day on how much this adoption journey is like going to 6 Flags Grand Adventure and getting on the biggest rollercoaster.  From the ground it looks like a nearly impossible ride.  Way too high, way too risky, way too....frightening?  Or maybe just way too emotional.  Definitely way too expensive!


I remember how it was when I was a junior high youth leader during my final year of college.  One of my main jobs, next to serving and eating pizza, was to take 30 junior high kids to 6 Flags Magic Mountain, Knotts Berry Farm, and Disneyland.  It was not too tough of a job...most of the time. However, I once found myself in the line of one of the highest roller coaster rides...the kind of ride that takes you up to a very high place and then drops you.  At the end of the ride they lay you on your back facing straight up.  It was one of the times when I wished I could be anywhere else besides where I happened to be.  The last thing I wanted to do was to go on that ride!  Surrounded by a bunch of squirrely junior highers, I jokingly (but in all seriousness!) cried out loud to the God who could save me.  When it was my turn to get on the ride, the employee in charge of the ride grabbed his microphone and apologized that they were shutting it down for maintenance.  Whew! 

I am thinking that adoption can be like that ride.  Click...click...click!  There is much effort to get up the hills in this journey.  Homestudy....filling out forms....more paperwork...filling out grant applications....fundraising.....click, click, click.  There is a point in the process where you reach a peak.  Everytime your profile is presented, it is like a peak in a rollercoaster.  You sit at the top and realize, "Wow, this could be it..." and then you sit and wait.  Sometimes they announce over the loudspeaker, "We apologize, but you need to get off right now, this ride is being closed for maintenance." You climbed to the top only to get off and start the ride all over again.  After climbing to the top and getting off, believe me, your heart NEEDS some MAINTENANCE!

One day, I truly believe we will be climbing up that roller coaster once again....click, click, click....and we will reach the top...again.  Then we'll sit and wait.  We'll scan the horizen and see the amazing view.  We'll realize how very high up we really are.  Then, all of the sudden something will give.  Whosh!  There WILL BE a day when we feel the track give way and instead of hearing clicks, we will grab ahold of the sides and hold on for all we are worth.   I have heard from those who have been to the top and finished the ride that it truly is wild ride!  Just like that ride I avoided in my days as a youth leader, I know the ride will lay me on my back and cause me to look straight up. I know I will be looking nowhere else. 

"This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him."   Pslam 92:1

Packing Patience

This time last year, I had a suitcase spread out in my living room and a list that I carefully followed to help me pack it.  I was headed to Mozambique and I had no idea what to expect.  Our weight limit was fifty pounds and not an ounce over.  A tent. Mosquito netting.  A headlamp.  Nail polish for the girls.  Toothbrushes and new undies for the kids.  Balloons.  Beef jerky.  An inflatible pillow. Starbucks coffee?  (It was on the list) Malaria pills.  Check. Check.  Double check.   

Sometimes I think that if we viewed life a little differently, we'd be more careful how we pack for the journey.  We'd check.  Check.  And double check. 

Our adoption journey has been one that I haven't known how to pack for.  There was no list given when we started.  There's the list for the trip to the hospital, but that is not the trip that I am talking about.  It's this heart-journey that I have not known how to pack for.   I sometimes want to leave my heart at home, and other times, I check and realize it has already gone on ahead.  It feels so vunlernable to know my heart is already fully given for someone I have not yet met.  And I cannot get it back.  Then there are the days when I look in my suitcase for an extra measure of faith, realizing I didn't know how much I'd need it.  I wish someone would have told me I would need more than I believed.  Maybe I would have packed much, much more.

Today I checked and realized that hope was needed.  I lost track of it earlier this week and my heart was aching.  Hope is a funny thing.  Faith is the assurance of things hoped for...but when you lose hope it can really mess things up.  "For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."  (Romans 8:25)  And that is the key.  Hope is invisible!   It's a little harder to keep track of because you just can't see it.  Adoption is so like that.  Waiting.  For something.  You don't know when.  You don't know who.  You don't know where.  You feel pregnant.  But you don't look it.  There is no due date.  It's invisible.  It's a HOPE date.  An invisible platform on which adoption sits. 

WE WAIT FOR IT WITH PATIENCE.  Patience.  Check.  Check.  Double check.  Patience. 

God, please Grant us more GRANTS!

Fall has hit our neck of the woods in a big way this week.  The fall colors are AMAZING!  But the beautiful Indian Summer weather we had at the beginning of the week has fast given way to BRRRRR....a 40 degree drop.  It feels like winter now.  Even though it's only 40 degrees outside (not 25 yet!), when you go from 80 to 40 so quickly, it is a bit shocking to the system.  And all those lovely leaves are blowing fiercly in the wind.  Most of them have blown to the ground.  To the delight of my resident leaf rakers, the enormous pile that was in our front yard at the beginning of this week, have now blown away.  Some poor neighbors down the street will have to rake them up instead of my kids.  So sorry, neighbors!

If only money could fall like leaves from the trees and land in our yard!  My dad used to always say, "money doesn't grow on trees..." but it sure would be nice if it did sometimes.  One thing I never thought about as we began our adoption journey is how much FAITH it would require of us.  There are probably a LOT of things we didn't think about when we said, "yes" to adoption, but needing to grow in FAITH is one thing that simply did not occur to me. 

Money is one of those things that is generally needed in any grand adventure where God is involved.  Not always needed, but frequently.  Yet the aquiring of funds is sometimes akin to the multiplication of loaves and fishes.  I've never personally prayed over my lunch and turned around and fed it to 5000 people, but I do know God is able to multiply even my most limited resouce.  I've just never had my faith in His ablility to provide a lot of money tested quite like this. 

There are ministries "out there" that actually make it their business to give people (like us) MONEY.  Free money.  They make it their goal and their business to give grant money to people who are doing the very thing that God has put on their hearts....adopting....orphans....children that God wants to defend.  We have been busily applying for as many grants as we can find, at least all those that we qualify for.  Some are simply GRANTS.  They send money to our adoption agency once our baby is in our arms.  Others are MATCHING GRANTS.  They will send matching funds to our adoption agency on our behalf depending on how much money as we can RAISE up to a certain amount.

So THANK YOU to everyone who has helped us so far with the MICAH FUND!!  We are on our way to meeting our goal!  HURRAY!  So now, will you continue to pray with us that God will GRANT US MORE GRANTS????  We have applied for a $3500 grant, another $2500 matching grant, and several others that could be anywhere between $300 and ??  Free money.  Thank you, Jesus, for every way that you provide and every generous person that you use to do it though!   

MICAH Fund

In case we forgot to put you on our mailing list--

Dear Family and Friends,          

     Over the past several years we have found ourselves approaching a new bend in the road ahead that we had not anticipated.  Our commitment to follow Jesus seems to always lead us to unexpected surprises and blessings when we follow where He leads!  Recently, we have felt strongly that He is calling us to adopt a baby.  We know that God cares deeply about the needs of widows and orphans (James 1:27) and we know that He sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6).  There are many minority babies born in our nation with very few families waiting to adopt them.  We believe God has a marvelous blessing awaiting our family, and at the same time, He desires to give our family to a precious little one who needs our love.  Can you believe it?  What will we do next?  We have completed our home study and are now officially waiting for God to orchestrate our adoption.   Our profile will soon be made available to be viewed by birth mothers and we could become parents again at any time!

     This is a huge leap of faith for us and we are writing to ask for the support of our friends and family emotionally, prayerfully, and if God leads, financially.  We ask for your prayers as we go through the sometimes tumultuous road toward adoption.  Please pray for the health and safety of the child God has planned for us and also for the health and safety of the child’s birthmother.  Pray that our relationship with our child’s birthmother will be full of grace and that we will love her well.  She will have made a very courageous decision to carry her baby to birth.  Placing that baby in our arms will take an equal amount of strength and courage. 

     We have already raised about $5000 to cover the cost of our home study and the other services needed to bring us to this point of our journey.  The high COST of adoption is often the main obstacle that stands in the way of hopeful families.  Our adoption will cost between $25,000 and $30,000, possibly even more.  We will most likely spend about $5000 in additional funds for travel and lodging in our baby’s birth state before we can bring our baby home.  There will be legal fees and possible medical fees for the baby’s mother.  We are continuing to explore every avenue we know of to raise this money.  Every penny will be worth it!  We know this is a large sum of money, but we trust God has a plan to help us fund our adoption. 

     The Minority Infant and Child Adoption Help (MICAH) Fund is a registered 501(3)(c) non profit organization incorporated in the state of Minnesota, whose mission is to glorify God by helping to make possible the placement of African American and biracial infants/children into loving, Christian homes. They will match, dollar for dollar, up to $2000, every gift that is received on our behalf! 

     If you feel led to support us financially in our pursuit of this adoption, your gift can be 100% tax deductible when made through the MICAH Fund.  The Fund has asked us to make clear to you that according to IRS regulations, gifts are not eligible to be tax deductible if legally controlled by the donor.  This means that once your gift has been received, you may not recall it or demand it be applied to the grant of your choice.  The MICAH Fund makes every effort to honor the suggestions of these gifts, and would be happy to discuss these issues with you further if you wish.  The MICAH Fund number is 651-636-5255.  They can also be located at www.micahfund.org 

     Because all donations to the fund are paid directly to adoption agencies, and the MICAH Fund will not give grants directly to individuals, gifts must be received before the placement of our child (ASAP).  Any gifts received after this date would be placed into the general adoption grant fund. 

     Gifts in the form of checks may be sent to MICAH Fund, attn: Dave Feldner,  2112 NE Broadway Street, Minneapolis, MN  55413.  Donations may also be made online at www.micahfund.org  The MICAH Fund is unable to accept telephone credit card donations. 

     Thank you so much for taking time to read this letter!  Please PRAY for us in this journey even if you do not feel called to partner with us financially. We are so excited for what God has in store and for the baby He has chosen for us! 

Thank you!! 
Rick, Sylvia, Ben, Olivia, Bethany, Sarah, and Solomon

September 17, 2012 

Dear church, family, and friends of Rick and Sylvia,

The MICAH Fund (www.micahfund.org) is a non profit organization whose mission is to glorify God by helping to make possible the placement of African American and biracial infants and children into loving, Christian homes.  The MICAH Fund is a registered 501(3)(c) organization registered in the state of Minnesota.  The MICAH Fund is dedicated to help meet the financial needs of Christian families seeking to obey God’s call to “visit the fatherless…in their affliction” (James 1:27).

We believe adoption at its core is evangelism – a vital part of bringing the mission field home.  God desires children to be adopted into Christ-honoring families so they may be ultimately adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ.  God calls us to fulfill James 1:27.

Rick and Sylvia have sensed God’s call and have joyfully stepped out in faith and obedience to walk the journey of adoption.  As you may already know, adoption is expensive, can cost up to $25,000 (or more), and this prevents many families from adopting.  The MICAH Fund believes God has raised up Rick and Sylvia “for such a time as this,” and we have committed to an adoption matching grant of $2,000 to help raise the funds necessary for this adoption.  This means the MICAH Fund will match dollar for dollar what Rick and Sylvia raise from their church, family, and friends between now and the placement of this child up to $2,000.  Gifts can be raised over and above this amount but will not be matched.  We invite you to support them financially to make this adoption possible.  Your gift is tax deductible and you will receive a tax deductible receipt. 

Will you invest financially in the life of the child God has for this family?  It will be an investment with eternal return.

Sincerely,

Maridel Sandberg

President of the MICAH Fund

P.S.  Receipts for your gift are sent out quarterly and then again at the end of year.  We appreciate your support.

Adoption Kills Trees

This is how I spend my free time these days. :-)

We’reNOTcrazy.

We’re not crazy.  Really.   We started out as a pretty typical family. (Okay, maybe not THAT typical).  We met in college, got married, bought a cute house, and had two kids.   Actually, it was a little more complicated than that, with a story full of amazing things that God did to make it happen, but we’ll spare you the details for the sake of time and blog space.  You get the picture though.  We got married and had two kids.  No one even blinked an eye.  Not a single person asked us, “Are you crazy?”  We even got a puppy.   Pretty darn American.  So far, so good.

Then the fun began.  When our second baby was four years old, the rumblings of our hearts finally overtook us and we decided to have one more baby.  Just one more.  Both of us grew up with two siblings, so having three kids in our family seemed like the right thing for us to do.  But when baby #3 turned one, she stood at the door crying as her older brother and sister ran outside to play.  “The poor little thing needs a buddy,” we said.  We promptly added baby #4.  Uh oh.  Now we’d done it!  Suddenly we had gone too far and had crossed an unseen line.  We had unknowingly stretched ourselves beyond the invisible American limit.  We had leapt across some great divide that we did not even know existed!  We heard stories about this reality from our friends with large families, but us?  We actually FELT the gap widen as we exited the realm of normal.  We got a minivan. 

We never officially joined the subculture of homeschooling, minivan driving, large families.  We just woke up one day and found ourselves in a different place than everyone else.  And in that place we met other families who were more like us than the ones who had taken a step back once we brought home baby #4.  There is a comradery in being with those who understand.

As the story goes, we then added a fifth baby to the mix.  Boys on each end with three girls in the middle.  It’s an amazing saga of how a couple with two kids and dog became card carrying members of the “over the limit” bunch.  “Throw that one back!” Well, no one has ever actually said THAT about any of our kids.  But the story is amazing.  While some people looked on with sideways glances on their faces, we were caught in the wonder of the journey God had so clearly set before us.  Some people lay down their lives for Jesus and He calls them to China.  We laid our lives at Jesus’ feet and among other things, He led these two self-proclaimed introverts into parenting a small herd of kids.  We never signed up to have 5 kids and we never officially decided to homeschool them this long either.  We never really WANTED a minivan, we just needed more seatbelts.  God has a way of ever-so-gently stretching us, drawing our lines farther and farther out just a little at a time.  “Enlarge your tent!  Lengthen your cords!  Strengthen your pegs!  You will spread out to the right and the left!”  Isaiah was surely speaking to us and we didn’t know it.

When we had our fifth child the questions began to pop up.  “Are they ALL yours?”  Wow.  We have friends with 8 kids, friends with 10 kids.  We had heard about those questions.  When we moved from the southern part of the Midwest north to another state where a “large family” is one with more than two kids, we had to redefine the word LARGE.  We now have a LARGE family.  Once while shopping with all 5 kids in tow, someone actually asked, “Do they all have the same father?”  Like that is even your business!  And the most frequent question of all:  “Are you CRAZY?”  Well, we have not been officially tested, but the men in white jackets have not come yet to take us away.  Last we checked we were simply CRAZY in our love for Jesus and for the things that He loves.   I don’t think we’ve lost our minds just yet.   Do you remember the song we used to sing in Sunday School?  “Jesus LOVES the little children….all the children of the world!”  He is not driven by the American dream, nor does He operate out of the NORM of western culture.  Instead He says that, “children are a gift from of Lord; The fruit of the womb is a reward.”  Until we had them, we didn’t realize how MUCH He was rewarding us and how wonderful His gifts really are.

The next chapter in our story will definitely not diminish the questions that come our way.  That’s okay.  Feel free to ask them.  We did not see this coming.  We did not sit back ten years ago and write out our future to look like this.  This is a bend in the road that we did not anticipate.   Sometimes in following you end up going places you never imagined you would go.  When Jesus said, “Come, follow me….”  He didn’t really say where He was going.  He simply said, “Follow.”   He told us that we would hear a VOICE behind us and before us, and on either side of us, saying, “This is the way, walk in it….”  And here we are.  We have said yes to His way, and yes to where He is leading.  In the past, we’ve walked into corners and had to readjust our perspective in order to find our way back to where He is leading.  We actually tried to avoid this bend in the road but at some point we looked up and saw that we were cornered.  It took us awhile, but we changed our perspective and said YES to this path He prepared beforehand for us to walk in.  Now we are beginning to see things a bit more clearly and the road ahead is exciting!  The horizon is breathtakingly beautiful!  The gift He has for us is going to be amazing!  He rewards those who diligently seek Him, and for us, one of the rewards He has for us is another member of our family!   Are we CRAZY??  No….I am not pregnant.  But YES, we are in the process of making our home and our family ready to adopt a baby.  Wow.  Did I just say that?  I did!  And the more I say it, the more excited I get.   We just completed our home study this week and next week our applications for agencies and grants start going in the mail! 

Last February, in our wonderings and prayers about this journey, the name “Traice Loux” kept coming up again and again.  She is an adoption consultant with Christian Adoption Consultants.  With much trembling (oh yes) we contacted Tracie and she helped us with get the adoption ball rolling.  Our ball has rolled at a snail pace, but it has rolled along and now we are ready to begin applying to agencies.  There is no greater joy than to join our hearts with what is on God’s heart.  He did not leave us as orphans, He adopted us into His very own family and made us joint heirs with Christ.  No wonder He likes adoption so much.  It is a declaration of Who He Is.

At this point, we are pursuing a domestic adoption of an infant.  That would be “baby” as in “newborn.”  (So why did we keep the crib, stroller, packnplay, highchair, and carseats until last summer and THEN give them away?  Hmm.) We are hoping to adopt an African American baby.  That would be “chocolate,” not “vanilla.”  I read once that there are supposedly 24 people in line to adopt Caucasian babies who are in need of a family, but the need is much greater with children of color.    Who would have thought there are so many children in America without families??  Many of them end up in foster care.  This year, there are 463,000 children in foster care, and of those, 65% will age out before ever finding a family to love and support them. For the precious birthmoms who make the courageous choice to carry their babies to LIFE, adoption is an amazing display of redemption.   We are eager to see what happens as we follow Jesus on this journey.  For starters, we have constructed this blog so that you can join in and walk with us along the way.  Here we go! 

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