Sunday, September 2, 2012

We’reNOTcrazy.

We’re not crazy.  Really.   We started out as a pretty typical family. (Okay, maybe not THAT typical).  We met in college, got married, bought a cute house, and had two kids.   Actually, it was a little more complicated than that, with a story full of amazing things that God did to make it happen, but we’ll spare you the details for the sake of time and blog space.  You get the picture though.  We got married and had two kids.  No one even blinked an eye.  Not a single person asked us, “Are you crazy?”  We even got a puppy.   Pretty darn American.  So far, so good.

Then the fun began.  When our second baby was four years old, the rumblings of our hearts finally overtook us and we decided to have one more baby.  Just one more.  Both of us grew up with two siblings, so having three kids in our family seemed like the right thing for us to do.  But when baby #3 turned one, she stood at the door crying as her older brother and sister ran outside to play.  “The poor little thing needs a buddy,” we said.  We promptly added baby #4.  Uh oh.  Now we’d done it!  Suddenly we had gone too far and had crossed an unseen line.  We had unknowingly stretched ourselves beyond the invisible American limit.  We had leapt across some great divide that we did not even know existed!  We heard stories about this reality from our friends with large families, but us?  We actually FELT the gap widen as we exited the realm of normal.  We got a minivan. 

We never officially joined the subculture of homeschooling, minivan driving, large families.  We just woke up one day and found ourselves in a different place than everyone else.  And in that place we met other families who were more like us than the ones who had taken a step back once we brought home baby #4.  There is a comradery in being with those who understand.

As the story goes, we then added a fifth baby to the mix.  Boys on each end with three girls in the middle.  It’s an amazing saga of how a couple with two kids and dog became card carrying members of the “over the limit” bunch.  “Throw that one back!” Well, no one has ever actually said THAT about any of our kids.  But the story is amazing.  While some people looked on with sideways glances on their faces, we were caught in the wonder of the journey God had so clearly set before us.  Some people lay down their lives for Jesus and He calls them to China.  We laid our lives at Jesus’ feet and among other things, He led these two self-proclaimed introverts into parenting a small herd of kids.  We never signed up to have 5 kids and we never officially decided to homeschool them this long either.  We never really WANTED a minivan, we just needed more seatbelts.  God has a way of ever-so-gently stretching us, drawing our lines farther and farther out just a little at a time.  “Enlarge your tent!  Lengthen your cords!  Strengthen your pegs!  You will spread out to the right and the left!”  Isaiah was surely speaking to us and we didn’t know it.

When we had our fifth child the questions began to pop up.  “Are they ALL yours?”  Wow.  We have friends with 8 kids, friends with 10 kids.  We had heard about those questions.  When we moved from the southern part of the Midwest north to another state where a “large family” is one with more than two kids, we had to redefine the word LARGE.  We now have a LARGE family.  Once while shopping with all 5 kids in tow, someone actually asked, “Do they all have the same father?”  Like that is even your business!  And the most frequent question of all:  “Are you CRAZY?”  Well, we have not been officially tested, but the men in white jackets have not come yet to take us away.  Last we checked we were simply CRAZY in our love for Jesus and for the things that He loves.   I don’t think we’ve lost our minds just yet.   Do you remember the song we used to sing in Sunday School?  “Jesus LOVES the little children….all the children of the world!”  He is not driven by the American dream, nor does He operate out of the NORM of western culture.  Instead He says that, “children are a gift from of Lord; The fruit of the womb is a reward.”  Until we had them, we didn’t realize how MUCH He was rewarding us and how wonderful His gifts really are.

The next chapter in our story will definitely not diminish the questions that come our way.  That’s okay.  Feel free to ask them.  We did not see this coming.  We did not sit back ten years ago and write out our future to look like this.  This is a bend in the road that we did not anticipate.   Sometimes in following you end up going places you never imagined you would go.  When Jesus said, “Come, follow me….”  He didn’t really say where He was going.  He simply said, “Follow.”   He told us that we would hear a VOICE behind us and before us, and on either side of us, saying, “This is the way, walk in it….”  And here we are.  We have said yes to His way, and yes to where He is leading.  In the past, we’ve walked into corners and had to readjust our perspective in order to find our way back to where He is leading.  We actually tried to avoid this bend in the road but at some point we looked up and saw that we were cornered.  It took us awhile, but we changed our perspective and said YES to this path He prepared beforehand for us to walk in.  Now we are beginning to see things a bit more clearly and the road ahead is exciting!  The horizon is breathtakingly beautiful!  The gift He has for us is going to be amazing!  He rewards those who diligently seek Him, and for us, one of the rewards He has for us is another member of our family!   Are we CRAZY??  No….I am not pregnant.  But YES, we are in the process of making our home and our family ready to adopt a baby.  Wow.  Did I just say that?  I did!  And the more I say it, the more excited I get.   We just completed our home study this week and next week our applications for agencies and grants start going in the mail! 

Last February, in our wonderings and prayers about this journey, the name “Traice Loux” kept coming up again and again.  She is an adoption consultant with Christian Adoption Consultants.  With much trembling (oh yes) we contacted Tracie and she helped us with get the adoption ball rolling.  Our ball has rolled at a snail pace, but it has rolled along and now we are ready to begin applying to agencies.  There is no greater joy than to join our hearts with what is on God’s heart.  He did not leave us as orphans, He adopted us into His very own family and made us joint heirs with Christ.  No wonder He likes adoption so much.  It is a declaration of Who He Is.

At this point, we are pursuing a domestic adoption of an infant.  That would be “baby” as in “newborn.”  (So why did we keep the crib, stroller, packnplay, highchair, and carseats until last summer and THEN give them away?  Hmm.) We are hoping to adopt an African American baby.  That would be “chocolate,” not “vanilla.”  I read once that there are supposedly 24 people in line to adopt Caucasian babies who are in need of a family, but the need is much greater with children of color.    Who would have thought there are so many children in America without families??  Many of them end up in foster care.  This year, there are 463,000 children in foster care, and of those, 65% will age out before ever finding a family to love and support them. For the precious birthmoms who make the courageous choice to carry their babies to LIFE, adoption is an amazing display of redemption.   We are eager to see what happens as we follow Jesus on this journey.  For starters, we have constructed this blog so that you can join in and walk with us along the way.  Here we go! 

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9 comments:

  1. We love your crazy family!! Godspeed on the adoption process :-)

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    1. We love your family too! Evan had no idea all things that would come of his friendship with a certain ginger in Spanish 1. I am so grateful for the way that God orchestrates things. Your family has blessed us beyond measure and you are part of the journey that got us to this place!

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  2. We loved reading your story! Our not YET large family (only 3 of us so far) is in the homestudy stage and working with Tracie also, planning on African American newborn adoption as well :-). We'll definitely be following how God works in your adoption!

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    1. Yeah! Thanks for reading our story! One of the most amazing this about this journey is all of the incredible families we are meeting along the way. God is so waking up His church to be His family for these precious little ones. Glad to "meet" you!

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  3. Blessings, Sylvia. Both of our kids chose to parent TOO large families - 6 each - that's 12 grands for us!! We are so proud of them. First home schooler just graduated and will begin One Thing internship soon. Love your blog!

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    1. You ARE rich! I remember when your first grandbabies were born. What a legacy you are leaving! Blessings back to you!

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  4. How wonderful to read your journey! As a mom of 13, including one cherished daughter with a little more melanin adopted with Tracie's help, I couldn't agree more. We didn't start out thinking we'd ever get and fill a 15 passenger van, but we just did, and consider ourselves the most blessed family we know.

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  5. Thank you for reading it! :-) It's an amazing journey! You are blessed indeed!

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